Cancer Read online

  Contents

  Copyright

  Titles by Gemma James

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Up Next

  Also Available

  Playlist

  About the Author

  Cancer

  Copyright © 2020 Gemma James

  Cover design by Gemma James

  All rights reserved.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  TITLES BY GEMMA JAMES

  The Zodiac Queen Series

  Aries (The Zodiac Queen #1)

  Taurus (The Zodiac Queen #2)

  Gemini (The Zodiac Queen #3)

  Cancer (The Zodiac Queen #4)

  Leo (The Zodiac Queen #5)

  Virgo (The Zodiac Queen #6)

  Libra (The Zodiac Queen #7)

  Scorpio (The Zodiac Queen #8)

  Sagittarius (The Zodiac Queen #9)

  Capricorn (The Zodiac Queen #10)

  Aquarius (The Zodiac Queen #11)

  Pisces (The Zodiac Queen #12)

  Condemned Series

  Torrent (Condemned #1)

  Rampant (Condemned #2)

  Fervent (Condemned #3)

  Vagrant (Condemned #4)

  Deviant (Condemned #5)

  Descent (Condemned #6)

  Devil’s Kiss Series

  The Devil’s Kiss (Devil’s Kiss #1)

  The Devil’s Claim (Devil’s Kiss #2)

  The Devil’s Wife (Devil’s Kiss #3)

  The Devil’s Spawn (Devil’s Kiss #4)

  Trashy Affair Series

  Trashy Foreplay (Trashy Affair #1)

  Trashy Conquest (Trashy Affair #2)

  Standalone Novels

  Epiphany

  Swallow Me Whole

  Chapter One

  June 21st

  Detached, apart from one’s self, separated from existence. I never fully understood what that felt like until now. Activity whirs around me as I sit with the Zodiac Brotherhood at the large circular table. The gaudy chandelier sparkles above, giving off ambient lighting. Servants take away appetizer plates and replace them with the next gourmet course, forks scrape against fine china, and wine glasses rise to achingly beautiful lips.

  Every man present at this farce of a welcome dinner is handsome; some regal, some understated, others roguishly sexy. It isn’t fair how sadism and corruption taints such beauty. And it’s unfair that not one of them seems to notice how I’m only here in the physical sense, my mind caught in a zephyr of fog as the edges blacken. The plate in front of me blurs. Voices grow faint. The last three months flicker through my consciousness, and I watch the memories like scenes from a movie.

  My first experience on my knees for the chancellor. The game of chess and the way he made me beg for him after I lost. The heat in his eyes as he brought me to orgasm for the first time. The sadness in those gorgeous brown depths when we had to say goodbye.

  I don’t want to think about what comes next, but the memories infiltrate before I can cast them into the muck of my mind. Mr. Bordeaux and his rules. My unexpected friendship with Loren. The degrading punishments.

  My lashes flutter, scattering the recollections and bringing me back to the here and now. There’s no question that those months changed me, destroying the veil of innocence that protected the childish girl I used to be. Surviving such a soul-altering fate should prepare me for anything.

  It didn’t.

  Because my time in the House of Gemini didn’t just shatter me—it shattered the foundation of my entire life, and I’m still trying to glue the pieces back together despite it being another month and another zodiac sign.

  Another dinner.

  The men of the Brotherhood appear unchanged. Outwardly, I do as well, but my stomach is in knots, trust shifting as the truth I learned three days ago breaks through the barriers of deceit.

  Liam sits in his usual chair, the first slice of the zodiac. The ram is rigid in his role as leader, and he wears the responsibility and obligation as well as the expensive coal suits he favors. There’s a familiar warmth in his eyes, offering comfort and reassurance, but my heart doesn’t respond with the normal dance his presence usually inspires.

  The unfazed Heath Bordeaux takes the space next to the chancellor. If anyone on this side of the table remains unchanged in recent weeks, it’s the peddler of precious gemstones.

  My gaze drifts to Landon Astor, the man I still have a hard time thinking of as my brother. Elise sits by his side, a diamond on her slender left hand. The stone isn’t as large as the one on my finger, but knowing Elise the way I do, my brother chose the perfect token of his love for her.

  From the corner of my eye, I spy Dr. Vance Morgan’s expectant gaze on me, and I force my attention on the words coming from his thin lips.

  “Is the lamb not to your liking, my queen?” He nods toward the plate of food sitting untouched in front of me. “The chef can bring you something else, if you like.”

  “No, it’s fine.” I offer him an uneasy smile before taking a bite.

  My taste buds aren’t the problem—the warning Landon gave me three days ago is. He believes Liam’s father was behind my parents’ plane crash, and if that isn’t bad enough, he thinks the Castles want me dead after the auction concludes.

  The warning won’t stop looping in my head, bouncing off the walls of my mind with an ominous echo. I lift my chin and find Liam’s brown eyes on me once more. A bolt of awareness courses through me, and I have to remind myself that he’s a man I can no longer trust.

  And even if I didn’t have my doubts about the chancellor, Landon ordered me to stay away from him anyway.

  But I don’t know if I can let it go.

  The rest of dinner passes in quiet chatter. Elise answers Liam’s questions about the wedding next month. When she mentions that I’m designing her gown, Liam’s gaze veers to me again. He’s been glancing my way every chance he gets, as if he senses the internal battle inside my heart.

  I try to picture him conspiring to take everything from me, proclaiming his affection and protection one moment while planning my downfall the next. No matter the truth in my brother’s confession, or the certainty in my father’s words from beyond the grave—written by his own hand a week before he died—the core of my being doesn’t believe Liam is capable of conspiring to have me killed so my uncle can take the throne.

  I can’t imagine a world in which Liam Castle wants me dead. With a hard swallow, I shift my gaze and catch the reproach on Landon’s face, accompanied by a barely discernible shake of his dark head.

  Let it go, he’s saying. Let Liam go.

  Vance clears his throat, gaining the attention of everyone at the table. “Before we move on to dessert, I’d like to present the queen with my gift.” He signals to a woman who stepped into the room as the main course ended. As she closes the distance, I remember she was present during the medical exam three months ago.

  With a smile, she sets a tray in front of me, and I muster a friendly curve of my lips in return because she was kind to me, even holding my hand during the examina
tion. This stranger winced through the invasion with me, making sure I wasn’t alone since the Brotherhood hadn’t allowed my ladies to attend.

  Vance’s assistant vanishes as fast as she appeared, leaving behind a perplexing offering of a silver spoon and a small decorative bottle made of frosted glass.

  I raise a brow at Vance. “What is this?”

  Instead of answering, he picks up the spoon, his lips tilting into a smirk of a grin, and hands it to me. “Take three teaspoons and find out.”

  “And if I don’t?”

  “If you don’t, you’ll miss the opportunity to choose the attention of any man at this table for the rest of the evening.” He leans closer, his voice lowering, though I’m sure everyone hears him. “And the best part?” Another pause, another smile. “Whoever you chose will have no control over you.”

  I feel the doctor’s words low in my belly, tumbling around in triumph, and for the first time since I took my seat, I sense the lion’s movement to my left. Every shift of his jeans steals my focus, whereas thirty seconds ago I could ignore him completely.

  I was proud of my feigned indifference to Sebastian Stone.

  But now I’m achingly aware of how close he is—the closest I’ve been during dinner. And yet the more I move in Sebastian’s direction, the more the distance from Liam grows. I hate that I can’t trust the chancellor, that my father’s letter has made me doubt the first man to make me feel safe in this tower.

  I eye the spoon dangling in front of me, and my heart sinks with realization. It’s a clever offer, the dream of spending an evening without being under the control of a man. What a novel concept.

  If only I believed it to be true, because taking whatever’s inside that bottle isn’t a request. The doctor’s gift is as much a demand as Liam’s request that I prove myself while on my knees. It’s as much an order as Landon telling me to stay away from the chancellor.

  My life has become a series of demands disguised as choices.

  As I grab the spoon, Elise sucks in a nervous breath, her blue eyes wide with alarm. If the dynamics were different, she’d beg me not to give in.

  But things aren’t different. Elise and I are on foreign soil, trapped by duty and a society that views us as subservient creatures. Before I can question the wisdom of what I’m doing, I pour the syrupy liquid from the bottle and watch it fill the spoon.

  It’s tasteless going down, and so are the next two doses. I set the spoon back on the tray next to the bottle. Expectation cuts through the air. If I didn’t know better, I’d think everyone was holding their breath.

  The moment snaps when servants appear with slices of berry-garnished cheesecake. Conversations resume as forks scrape dessert plates. Steady hands replenish emptying glasses of wine. I make it halfway through my dessert before the oddest feeling hits me.

  Intense heat radiates from low in my belly, spreading down my legs and all the way to my toes until they curl. I press my thighs together, but the sensation only amps hotter until it’s a persistent pulse at my core. Biting back a whimper, I bring a palm to my left cheek, surprised to find it cool to the touch.

  Vance places a hand on my knee, his caress warm through royal blue silk, and gently tugs until my thighs part by an inch.

  “What are you doing?” My voice shakes, humiliation creeping onto my face as I glance at the men around the table. No one is paying attention to me…until I catch the knowing eyes of Sebastian. A smirk taints his expression, and I try to press my legs together in response.

  Vance brings my gaze back to him, his grip tightening on my knee. “Don’t fight it.” He leans close, mouth heating my earlobe, and I shiver. “The throb between your legs isn’t going anywhere for the next few hours.”

  I lick my lips, and a breath escapes. “What did you give me?”

  “An arousing elixir.” His lips form a secret smile. “But it also has the potential to frustrate.”

  “How so?” I breathe, suddenly aware of the citrus-infused scent wafting off the doctor. His cologne heightens my senses, and I not only hear Sebastian shift again, but I envision the denim of his jeans rubbing the seat cushion.

  I want to be that cushion.

  “One teaspoon will turn a woman on, two will make her beg, and three does both while also bringing on a curious side effect.”

  Silence.

  It surrounds the table, amplifying the thundering beat of my heart, and I sense every gaze on me, heavy as the bricks laid out in the walkway to the cliffs. Hot embarrassment splashes across my cheeks.

  “What side effect?” I ask, drawn to the coppery glint in Liam’s hair as the weight of his stare pins me to the spot from across the table.

  Vance turns my face until we’re eye-to-eye again. His aren’t green or blue or even brown. They’re a deep gray with undertones of hazel. From far away, those eyes don’t startle and draw attention, but up close they pack a punch.

  “Have you heard of the term anorgasmia?” he asks.

  I shake my head, and he leans even closer.

  “It’s the medical term for when someone can’t reach orgasm.” He nods toward the syrupy potion he gave me, still sitting too innocuously on the table. “Quite a devious mixture. Three teaspoons causes intense arousal while leaving one unable to reach climax.”

  “Did I do something to anger you, Dr. Morgan?”

  “It’s Vance.” He settles back into his seat. “And no, you didn’t. I simply enjoy making you squirm.”

  And that’s when I realize I underestimated the doctor, believing him to be one of the few kind-hearted men in this tower, gentle in mannerism and caring in a professional sense. I let my guard down and I’m paying for it between the knees.

  I want to inch them together, to keep the intensity of throbbing heat inside me, but my panties are undeniably damp. It’s too late, because whatever he gave me is rushing through my blood, wreaking havoc on my pride, and every pair of eyes is a witness to my humiliation.

  “May I be excused?”

  “Finish your dessert,” Vance says, his fingers slipping under silk and reaching for the flesh of my thigh. I bite back a desperate moan.

  “Please,” I breathe, my chest heaving.

  His gaze dips to my cleavage. “Be the good girl I know you can be.” He nods at my half-eaten cheesecake. “Afterward, you’ll get your reward.”

  My reward…

  My eyes clash with Liam’s, but the sexual energy coming off Sebastian makes my breath hitch. His presence strokes me like a fiery touch, as real as the hand inching up my thigh. With agonizing slowness, I bring a bite of dessert to my mouth and force my gaze on the lion.

  That’s when Vance dips a finger beneath the lace edge of my thong. My mouth closes around the spoon, stifling a moan, and yet…

  Sebastian hears it, senses it, feels it. Those azure eyes widen the slightest bit, his nostrils flaring. The movement of his chest quickens.

  But last month, he had me under his command, free to do anything he wanted, and he held back, especially on the night of the charity ball. I took a chance and went to his floor, wanting my dance.

  Wanting him to want me.

  He wanted Lilith Astor instead.

  Her name leaves a nasty stain on the walls of my mind. I swallow the last of the cheesecake, and Vance removes his hand from between my legs and brings it to my mouth, his finger sliding along my lip. The taste of my arousal is intoxicating—a forbidden sample of decadence I can’t help but crave on the lips of two men sitting at this table.

  “Who’s it going to be, my queen?” Vance pushes a finger into my mouth before sliding it out again. “Who are you wet for?”

  I give him the most diplomatic answer I can. “All of you, considering the potion you gave me.” It’s mostly a lie, except for the potion part. The instant his elixir stormed my veins, my body ignited with arousal.

  The sort I can’t fight.

  Knowing Sebastian is sitting to my left only intensifies it, and not even the filament of betrayal b
etween the chancellor and me can snuff it out.

  “You can’t have all of us tonight. You may only choose one.”

  I take a leisurely glance around the table, touching on every man, but especially Sebastian. His bold stare holds a dare.

  Choose me, it challenges with smug triumph, as if he believes the choice has already been made. My brother tilts his head, silently telling me the same thing. The lion and his supposed safety net is the only option.

  Maybe it’s the unrelenting demand in their expressions, or the way everyone in this tower believes it’s their right to control me, but when I settle my gaze on Liam, and he looks away in hurtful disappointment, I know what I must do.

  Because above all else, I need to find out if I can trust him.

  “I choose the chancellor.”

  Chapter Two

  After dinner, the room clears all at once, most of the men quiet and reserved as they leave one by one. Sebastian is the first to go, and though he doesn’t say a word, he doesn’t have to. The cadence of his exit says it for him, heavy and angry footfalls echoing in my ears. He disappears into the hall, and the promise of his wrathful jealousy wafts in the air, clinging to my skin like the sweat of desire.

  The chancellor lingers by the open doors, his presence tugging at me with the strength of a wrench. Vance passes me off to him. “She’s all yours for the evening.”

  Liam’s smile is so genuine that a trickle of guilt seeps through the cracks in my armor. He’s unaware of my ulterior motives, believing that I chose him over every other man in the tower because I wanted to. Taking his offered hand, I wash the guilt away and force my expression into a mask of normal as he ushers me through the open doors that lead into the hall.

  That’s when Landon pulls us aside, his focus on the chancellor. “May I have a few moments with Novalee? Wedding business,” my brother explains.

  “You’ll have to ask her.” Liam lets go of my hand. “She’s the one with the power tonight.” Something twitches at the edges of his mouth. Amusement? Reluctance? I can’t pinpoint it, and that makes me even more determined to get to the root of this man’s soul.