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  4. Mastered

  Time had no measure. Seconds, minutes…they all bled into each other until the only thing that mattered was the rampant ache in my muscles, the dimming of the room, the goose bumps forming on my skin as the chill set in. After a while I became numb. Listless. Found a place outside myself where I could tolerate existing. It was a familiar place, one I hadn’t visited in a long time. I sagged toward the floor a little more with each minute, heels refusing to touch ground, wrists taking the burden of my weight.

  And then I felt the warmth of his hands, grazing my ankles as he removed the bar from between my legs, circling my wrists and lifting…until they dropped like noodles at my sides. In a dizzying whirl, I slumped toward the floor. He engulfed me in his arms.

  “Open your eyes, Kayla.” His breath whisked across my face, tinted with brandy.

  I stared into his sapphire gaze…and felt nothing.

  He held me up with one hand and removed the gag with the other. “Have you learned your lesson?”

  I worked my aching jaw, and only then did I realize I had drool trailing down my chin.

  “Answer me. Have you learned your lesson?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m giving you one chance, because I know your punishment wasn’t easy. Show me the respect I’m owed.”

  My apathetic state diminished; swift anger welled and overflowed. I hated him. Truly despised him. “Go to hell, Gage.”

  He swept me up, threw me over his shoulder, and stalked to the bench.

  “What are you doing?” I cried.

  Ignoring my question, he dropped me to my feet. I grabbed onto the bench to keep from falling, which was a bad idea because my actions only helped him position me. Gage pressed onto my back and wedged my knees apart. He strapped my hands, knees, and ankles in place, and then he adjusted the bench until my butt tilted up for easy access.

  The snap of leather sent ice through my blood. “What is that?” I cranked my neck around to see.

  “A whip.”

  “Don’t you dare hit me with that!” I couldn’t breathe. Everything flooded back; the beatings, the bruises and cuts. The fractured bones.

  “I told you what I expect from you, yet you continue to disobey me. If you can’t take your punishment, say your word and end it.” He punctuated his words with a swift strike to my ass.

  I jerked and cried out, and the whip whistled through the air again, a split second warning before he struck me a second time.

  Crack!

  He hit me again and again, never giving me a moment to catch my breath, never allowing the sting to alleviate before he escalated the pain with another strike. I sobbed and pleaded with every blow, and eventually I found that place again—the place I’d lived in for the duration of my marriage.

  Stop, stop, stop, stop…

  Finally he did.

  Tears drenched my face, and I couldn’t see him, though the sound of his breath, coming fast and hard, told me he wasn’t far. I ticked off the seconds in my mind and stopped counting when his legs came into view.

  “Who am I, Kayla?”

  I lifted my head. He still had a death grip on the whip; his knuckles had gone white around the handle. “You’re my Master.”

  “That’s right. Don’t you forget it.”

  He put the whip away and then freed me from the restraints. “Don’t move yet.” He disappeared, only to reappear a few seconds later with a bottle of massage oil. He dripped some onto my back and went to work in rubbing the tension from my body. His fingers glided over my back and down my legs. I felt myself sinking, losing myself to the allure of my cloudy mind. Confusion niggled on the outskirts, and I vaguely wondered why he’d beat me only to massage away some of the pain afterward.

  “Who am I?” His voice drifted above, rich and warm like hot chocolate. His hands chased the chills away from my skin.

  “My Master,” I mumbled.

  He gripped my hand. “You can get up.” Gage helped me to my feet and steadied me when I stumbled. “If you behave, I won’t restrain you.” He pointed to the bed. “Stand at the end and bend over the mattress.” He reached for the button of his slacks.

  The fog cleared, unveiling fear in its wake. “Please…Master…” I faltered. Would he be rough? Would it be quick?

  “Do it now, Kayla.”

  My legs shook as I moved clumsily across the room. He pressed a hand against my back, and my breasts and stomach slid along the satiny comforter.

  “Spread your legs.”

  On the verge of tears, I obeyed and opened for him. Chills traveled the length of my body; I couldn’t stop shaking. I jumped when he grabbed my hips.

  “Arms straight out in front of you.” He massaged my sore ass. “Good, just like that. I want you to remain in this position, do you understand?”

  I rested my cheek on the mattress as a tear escaped. “Yes, Master,” my voice cracked, and I heard the distinctive slide of a zipper, the tear of a foil packet. For several seconds I waited, barely breathing, muscles tense in preparation for his intrusion.

  He glided his fingers between my thighs. Keeping perfectly still, I bit down on my lower lip. Unwelcome warmth flared again, and I prayed he’d stop caressing and just get it over with already.

  “Please, Master, just do it.”

  “Oh, no, I’m not about to make this easy for you.” He probed me with his fingers. “Do you know how many times I had to get myself off in my office after watching you prance around in your skirts?” He groaned. “You’re getting wet, baby.”

  I arched my spine and bit back a moan.

  “God, you’re so responsive. I’ve wanted you for such a long time, wet and on the brink, begging for release.” He plunged in, filling me with his pulsating heat, slowly stretching until I felt nothing but him.

  I dug my fingernails into the bedding and closed my eyes in shame.

  “If you come, I’ll punish you.” His breath fanned across my back. “Don’t disobey me.”

  Yet the bastard took his time. I locked my jaw to keep quiet and trembled from the effort of holding back as he pumped in and out. I hated my body for betraying me.

  It’s only biology.

  I held on to that thought as he pushed deeper. “You feel so good,” he groaned. He increased his thrusts, exploiting a rhythm designed to send me spiraling out of control.

  I fisted the comforter and unwittingly let out a long moan. “Master…”

  “Don’t come, Kayla.”

  I gritted my teeth and did the only thing I could think of to cool the fire. I thought of Rick; replayed the day I escaped with Eve. I’d been two weeks postpartum when he’d beaten me in a drunken rage. Hours later, when I thought he’d finally passed out for the night, I’d grabbed Eve and hobbled toward the door. He’d come out of nowhere with the knife. Eve had been thrown into the corner, and I thanked God every day she hadn’t been seriously hurt, though a broken arm had been serious enough.

  After a while Gage tensed and shuddered, and I knew it was over. For now.

  He withdrew and disposed of the condom “You’ve got impressive restraint. Not many women can hold back so well, not that they come here under your circumstances. I suspect that might have more to do with it. You feel forced.”

  My emotions were too close to the surface. On the heels of remembering in vivid detail how I’d escaped with my life—how Eve’s future had depended on it—my rage exploded. I whirled around and pushed him. “That’s because you did force me! Master,” I bit out the last word as if it were poison. “You might be able to elicit a reaction from my body, but you’ll never get the one you’re truly after. You’ll never have my eager participation.” I took a step forward, emboldened by the stunned expression on his face. “It was easy to control myself. All I had to do was think of my ex-husband and how he nearly stabbed me to death.”

  Gage pressed his hand over my mouth. “I’d watch your tone. Don’t villainize me—you’re the one who stole ten grand. You signed the contract
.”

  I pushed his hand away. “What you’re doing is wrong, Gage. Punish me if you wish. Do your worst. You couldn’t possibly hurt me more than he did.” I turned my back on him, mostly because I figured it would piss him off.

  I wasn’t prepared for his laughter. “I do love a challenge. Sleep well, Kayla.”

  I hugged myself, and as his feet thumped up the stairs, I wanted to curl into a ball and cry myself to sleep. He shut the door, and the sound echoed through the basement, through the empty chamber of my heart.

  5. Inquisition

  The following morning Gage ordered me into the bathtub. He sat on the edge, instructing me on how he expected me to bathe daily. The regimen he wanted me to follow would take a nice chunk out of my mornings, but I wasn’t about to negotiate with him, not so long as the hard glint remained in his eyes. The new day had dawned with clarity; I’d gone too far the previous night. Now I had nothing to do but wait until he decided to dish out my punishment. My ass still stung from the one he’d given the night before—a constant reminder to call him “Master.”

  “I’m going to prepare breakfast. After you finish here, I expect you to wait on your knees until I return.”

  I gulped. “Why, Master?” I stood on the bathmat, tightly clutching the towel around my body. It didn’t matter that he’d already seen me, had touched my most private places. I’d never be comfortable parading around naked in front of him.

  “Because I ordered you to.”

  He left, and I waited until the echo of the door rang through the basement before I dried off. I took my time blow-drying my hair and applying makeup, but eventually I couldn’t stall any longer. He still hadn’t returned. With nothing else to do, I moved to the middle of the room and sank to my knees.

  My thoughts drifted to Eve. I wondered what she was doing. Was she eating breakfast? I hoped they were able to get her to eat something. I also thought of Ian. Had he checked on her already? Suddenly, excitement fluttered in my stomach. If I behaved the way Gage wanted me to, took my punishment without complaint and sucked up to the bastard, maybe he’d let me call to check on her. I wondered if I’d get lucky enough to catch Ian at the hospital. Gage didn’t have to know that “Dr. Kaplan” was more to me than a doctor.

  I jumped as the door opened. He leisurely strolled down the stairs and stopped inches in front of me. He had no qualms about displaying the bulge behind his zipper. I looked up at him as dread squeezed my insides.

  “I expect you to greet me on your knees from here on out. Understand?”

  “Yes, Master,” I answered automatically, though in reality I didn’t understand any of it. How could anyone treat another human being this way? Maybe I was the damaged one and abusive men naturally flocked to me.

  “Hungry?” he asked.

  How did I answer that? My stomach growled, yet I feared he wasn’t talking about food. “Yes, Master.”

  His mouth curved into a grin. “Seeing you on your knees, calling me Master…” He rubbed himself. “Do you know what that does to me?”

  “No, Master,” I said, as if denying the evidence of his arousal would make it go away.

  “You please me, Kayla. You’ve caught on quickly, faster than I thought you would.”

  I lowered my eyes.

  “Look at me when I’m talking to you.”

  There was no mistaking the authority in his tone. I raised my eyes and didn’t dare look away. Not with my ass still sore from the whipping he’d given me last night. Twenty-four hours hadn’t passed and already I’d been reduced to a pathetic woman on my knees, my sole purpose to service and obey a man. Deep within, I silently screamed in rebellion and indignation. I hadn’t hated myself this much since before my divorce.

  He held out his hand, oblivious to my inner turmoil. “Come on, breakfast awaits.”

  I couldn’t begin to describe my relief as I rose to my feet. Confronted with his arousal while on my knees made me ill. He led me upstairs, and I fought the urge to cover my breasts. I’d never walked around my own apartment naked, so the idea of walking around his home in the nude made me vulnerable on a whole new level. I suspected that was his intention.

  We entered the dining room, and he dumped a bag of uncooked rice onto the hardwood floor next to the table. “Your punishment for getting mouthy with me last night.” He pointed to the rice. “On your knees again.”

  I sank down, gritting my teeth as the grains dug into my skin.

  Gage sat in a chair and began feeding me fruit. He fed me breakfast bite-by-bite, and by the time he spooned up some yogurt, I wanted to slather my burning knees with it.

  “I want to talk about your previous sexual experience.” He fed me another spoonful of yogurt. “I’m going to ask you some questions,” he continued, “and I want your complete honesty. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, Master.”

  “Have you ever had anal sex?”

  I lowered my head without thinking. What the question implied terrified me. I couldn’t breathe.

  “Kayla? I won’t remind you again to look at me when I’m talking to you. Next time it happens, you’ll be punished.”

  My gaze immediately shot to his.

  He smiled. “That’s better. Now answer the question.”

  “Once, Master,” I said, my voice so low that he asked me to repeat myself.

  “Did you like it?”

  I shook my head, my throat constricting as the memories I’d worked so hard to bury burst through and flooded my mind.

  “Why not?” He sounded genuinely curious.

  “I-I…he forced me.”

  His face darkened. “And now you think I’m doing the same.” It was a statement rather than a question.

  I narrowed my eyes. “Because you are. You blackmailed me.” I tempered my tone and added, “I had no choice, Master.”

  He rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed. “I know I crossed a line with you, Kayla. I’ve had many women, and to be perfectly honest, they bored me. I want a woman who values self-respect, who is classy enough to refrain from bedding every man she meets. I wanted you.”

  I wanted to ask how I’d gotten so unlucky to be wanted by him, but remembering my hope to call the hospital, I bit my tongue.

  He held out a hand. “You can get up now.” I grabbed his hand and stood, and then I wiped the rice from my knees. Gage gestured toward the chair closest to him. “You can sit.”

  I sat down and didn’t think twice about crossing my legs and arms. One look at his heated expression reminded me of his rules. I let my arms fall like noodles at my sides and uncrossed my legs, opening them several inches so he could see all of me.

  He gave an imperceptible nod of approval and pushed my plate in front of me. “Finish eating. I have a few more questions.”

  I remained silent and bit into a piece of toast.

  “How many men have you slept with?”

  “Two, Master,” I said, then immediately shook my head. “I mean three…since you…”

  A smile teased his lips. “That’s what I thought. I respect you for abstaining from the slutty behavior of most women. “Who were your lovers?

  “My ex-husband and…”

  Gage tapped his fingers on the table. “And?”

  “A guy I knew in college, Master.”

  He frowned. “Sounds like there’s more about this guy from college than you’re letting on. Did you love him?”

  “That’s none of your business!”

  His mouth flattened into a line, and I immediately regretted the outburst. “That’s where you’re wrong. If I say it’s my business, then it is.” He pushed his chair back and stood, and his hands bunched at his sides. “Were you in love with him?” There was no bend to his expression, no room for sympathy. Certainly no room for compromise. I was his, and he’d do with me as he pleased. Even if it meant making me answer what should have been a simple question.

  “Yes, Master. I loved him.” My rebellious nature rose, but I squashed it.

>   “Are you still in love with him?”

  Oh shit. Would he believe me if I lied? Probably not. “It’s been years, Master.”

  “That isn’t what I asked. Answer the question, Kayla.”

  “Why does it matter to you?” Smooth move, idiot. Keep pissing him off and he’ll never give you access to a phone.

  He jerked a chair out from the table and sat. “Come here now.”

  I inched toward him. With swift agility, he reached out and pulled me over his knee.

  My body tensed as his hand came down. “Are you in love with him?”

  “Yes!” This punishment was more humiliating than painful.

  “I want you to say ‘I will not back talk my Master’ after every swat of your ass.”

  Smack!

  “I will not back talk my Master.”

  Smack!

  I was wrong. Every strike of his hand grew more painful, and he didn’t stop after just a few. He counted the spankings, his voice cool and mechanical. I was openly crying, struggling to recite the words with a semblance of coherency by the time he passed forty. He released me at fifty. “Sit down, Kayla.”

  I staggered back and eased into my chair with a wince.

  “Don’t test me again. You won’t like the outcome.” He picked up his coffee mug and took a sip. “Now, let’s see if we can have a civilized conversation free of outbursts.”

  I was seething inside as I swiped the tears from my face. I scooped up a bite of yogurt before I lost my temper again.

  “What is it about this man that has captured you so?”

  I didn’t know how to answer. It’d been so long since Ian had been a part of my life, and we’d barely had a chance before a surprise pregnancy had tipped my world upside down and I’d made the mistake of going back to my ex. That mistake had cost me my first baby. “I can’t answer, Master. Not because I’m being difficult, but it’s been seven years. A lot has happened. I don’t know why there’s still a part of me holding on.”

  “Did he satisfy you in bed?”

  I felt my face grow warm. “Yes, Master.”

  Gage went silent for a few moments, and I took the opportunity to broach the subject of a phone call. “Can I ask you something, Master?”